Happy Update

Hey Girlfriend!

NOt much to say these days, really - my posts are starting to bore me *lol*.  Maybe I should switch to posting "Just for This Week" … dunno.  I suppose I'll just see what I need as I need it.

Gotta admit - not feeling the same determination I did 2.5 weeks ago.  Typical Tamara.  Start out of the gate full speed then quickly taper off.  Don't worry though - I'm still gunna limp along.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?  Speaking of limping - happy update on my foot situation.  Today it seriously feels 95% better!  I went for another chiro appointment yesterday.  Yup - hurt like a sunuvabitch as he dug his thumb into the tender part of my heel.  GEEZ!  Damned near went through the roof …. but it's necessary.  Gott break up the "gristle"-like something-or-other that's going on down there.  He said it was already smaller from Friday, which is great news.  Still can't walk without shoes (and likely never will walk barefoot in the house again) but I'm not even limping this morning!!  Heaven for my HIPS!  I'm going again Thursday, before I go on holidays.  Fingers crossed it just keeps getting better and better!

Now … back to this healthy living gig.  Ya - just can't seem to make it to the end of the day hitting my goals.  Water is down (again), didn't track my foot/calories and yup - caved and had my ice cream.  Not letting it get me down - just don't know why I'm not doing it.  I suppose, being the "all-ornothing" gal I am I fall down on tracking when I don't know exactly what to track.  Yesterday I tracked until dinner … but then had my roasted vegetables.  didn't know how much of what veg I had (it's all mixed together) and didn't know how much oil was in the batch … so I didn't track it.  So it's not like I'm binging on a bag of Doritos but I feel more successful when I KNOW how I've done - when it's measurable.  Ya, had the ice cream but again, calorie-wise for the day I'm pretty rue I was still in the 1,300 range.

I guess it's a good thing if I can just coast along for a while - not losing, not gaining.  I suppose this is how "normal" people do it.  Overall that's where I want to be and how I want to be able to live - mainly healthy - everything in moderation.  Just seems a little early to be doing THAT *lol*.  I still DO want to shift a little weight, as my jeans feel snug this morning (but I'm sure Aunt Flo has something to do with that).  Not going to dwell on it at this point.  I haven't been able to be as active as I would have liked due to my feet so hopefully once that gets sorted, and holidays are over, I'll be a little more focused.

So … nothing really profound today - just general update rambling and to let you know not every day is a full success … or sunshine and roses … but I'm still doing my best and being kind to myself.

Just for Today I choose to …

• Eat Clean (so I can track it accurately)
• Track what I eat
• Drink at least 1.5 litres of water (see if we can get THAT much in!)

That's all.  SUrely I can do THAT … even if it's just for today!

Have a great day Girlfriend - love you!

Tam

A Good Save

Hey Girlfriend,

Sorry I didn't post yesterday … kinda forgot after posting twice Saturday!

As always the weekend was a bit of a challenge for me eating wise.  More relaxed than during the week as I don't log my food (on My Fitness Pal).  I just find it "too much" on weekends.  During the week I find it quite easy to eat "clean".  I cook plain food with little or no sauces to complicate the calorie / recipe logging process.  Weekends aren't so smooth.  Craig usually does the cooking on weekends (lucky me!) and he uses a lot of marinades and sauces (likely why the kids like his cooking better than mine!).  So weekends I slide a bit … and that's just fine with me.  My goal is to eat like a reasonable human being 5 days a week and then I can enjoy a little more on weekends.  Gotta admit, though, last week I enjoyed during the week too.  A small bowl of ice cream most nights seemed to be the norm.  Ok, it's summer … but that's gotta stop.  The goal isn't necessarily to lose weight but at bare minimum it's not to GAIN weight!

I had a good save yesterday which was the slight slap I needed.

I had a HUGE bunch of 2 eggs, 1/2 c of egg whites and lots of my roasted vegetables from the other night (still LOTS left!!) in an omelette.  VERY satisfying and VERY filling.  About 1.5 hours later the girls came down and made some Ichiban Noodle soup.  I have a love/hate relationship with that stuff.  I absolutely LOVE it but recognize that it is total crap and nutritionally void in everyday.  Carbs, fat and SALT.  It really is nothing more than a gut filler.  Might as well eat rocks for all the nutritional value you get from it.  Nonetheless I buy it as yes, the kids love it.  Rebecca ate about half of hers and announced she was full.  As always, she asked "Mom - do you want it?"  I looked at - thought about it for a second and said "ya, OK".  Craig - who RARELY says ANYthing about what I do or don't eat, or about how much I eat, says "you don't need that garbage.  It's total crap".

I looked at it - realized not only was he absolutely right but that I wasn't even hungry.  Once again I was about to mindlessly put food in my mouth because a) it tastes good and b) I hate wasting food (although really this stuff shouldn't even be classified AS food!).  I said "You're right.  No thanks - throw it down the drain" … and she did.  I later thanked Craig for the "save" and for making me aware.  Other woman may have been offended … and if I hd been in a different mood I may have been too but wasn't.  His comment came from a place of love … and maybe some frustration.  Maybe he's tired of hearing me put myself down, complaining about my weight but then continuing to put garbage in my mouth!  He certainly isn't the poster by for healthy eating himself but I know he wasn't judging or being critical - he was just giving me the gentle reminder (slap?) I needed …. and I was grateful.

Back on track today.  We are on vacation Saturday so this is when I traditionally start the "Meh - holiday in a week so I'll be eating badly then - why not start now" mentality.  Not this time.  I still have 5 days to enjoy healthy food and my fridge is full of it!  It helps that I don't like throwing away food so …

Just for today I choose to …

• log everything that goes in my mouth
• NOT have ice cream
• eat between 1,200 - 1,300 calories
• drink 2.5 litres of water

That's all I can commit to for now - anything more is a bonus but I have a SUPER busy day today so want to keep it manageable.  I'd love to do my pilates video as well so that will be in the background … won't commit to it but just may squeeze it in before my chiro appointment for my foot (it's SO much better since my first one I can't wait to go again!)

So that's it for now (yes, it's 3:03 am …. couldn't sleep … perhaps I can get a few hours in before the kids wake up!)

TTYT.  Love you Girlfriend!

Tam

Not Gunna Do It!

Hey Girlfriend!

Happy Weekend :)

In a great mood today - had a fun night last night stamping with some friends.  It was so nice to catch up with them, have a glass of wine (yup, had one) and a giggle.  Got caught up in my back log of Coronation Street shows (think I've missed maybe 5 episodes in the last 16 years - total addict!) so got to sleep later than I should have … but feeling really content and grateful the morning.  Just sitting here smiling to myself.

Got up, grabbed my ever-so-sensible-and-butt-ugly-Mom-running shoes and hobbled to the bathroom (my feet are much better but I still can't walk sans shoes yet).  Checked out my curvy bod in the mirror and thought - hmmmmm - ya, think I may have lost a few pounds in the last two weeks.  If my scaled were in that bathroom you better believe I would have stepped on it.  Lucky for me it's not.  It's in the downstairs bathroom.  It's there for a reason.  If you haven't noticed I'm *slightly OCD* in, oh, just about every regard.  I don't use that term jokingly or haphazardly, I truly am an obsessive/addictive personality.  Not so much compulsive but definitely over-the-top and fairly obsessive.  When I would diet I wouldn't just weigh myself every week - not even every day - not even twice a day … it would very often be three times a day.  Seriously.  Three.  Obsessive much? *lol*  My day was good or bad, depending on what that little number said.  Didn't matter if I had three tablespoons of salt with my dinner and was holding 7 pounds of water.  Didn't matter ifI had my period.  Didn't matter if I had only eaten lettuce for three days - if that scale was up I was a failure, had gained fat and my day was ruined.

So.

Messed.

Up.

I'm happy to say I have well and truly broken up with my scale.  I hadn't weighed myself for months until about February when I started working with a nutritionist.  I didn't WANT to weigh myself but it was one of the only ways to measure improvement, so I did it … just once a week.

I broke up with my nutritionist and since then have only weighed myself twice, I think.

I was tempted to this morning.

Nah.

What would that achieve?  It would go one of two ways.

The scale would be the same as it was 2-3 weeks ago, or worse, it would my higher.  I would then proceed to eat my way through the fridge thinking "what the fuck is the point?  All that focused time and energy and I'm not further ahead".  Then, tomorrow, I would wake up, likely weigh myself again .. the scale WOULD be up this time due to all the salt intake from the day before and the cycle would continue for about 2 weeks, at which point I would TRULY be up 5 pounds (I don't just comfort eat 1 twinkie I comfort eat 12 boxes … again … *slightly* compulsive!), my clothes wouldn't fit and … well … you get the idea.

The other result would be that the scale would be a bit lower.  Fantastic!  Yay me!  The system works!  I'm going to celebrate with an English Muffin and jam … oh hell, I've worked hard … I'll have two … ohhhhh, Craig's jam is so good - what's one more?  … and I would celebrate-eat my way through the day … and then I would remember just how good all those treats taste and, well, one more day "off" won't hurt … then "oh look, it's holiday - can't be "good" on vacation" …. and two weeks from now I'll be up 5 pounds, my clothes wouldn't fit and … well … you get the idea.

I know me.  I'm a it of a hot mess when it comes to this healthy living / balance / anything in moderation gig.

Weighing myself will do nothing but add 5 pounds to my butt.  So I'm not gunna do it.  Not gunna!  Once again - IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!

Back in the first week of posts I said I'm finally HEARING my friends when they say they love me the way I am, it's not my size that matters etc etc etc.  I forgot, though, to write about the number one thing that was said to me that started this journey some time last year.  I heard it … I'd heard it a hundred times but it never registered … this time it did … it came through as a whisper but was loud enough to crack through the wall of my insecurities.  It's what started it all.  It was Craig.  My husband.  For the hundredth time he looked at me and said (this time a little more firmly and frustrated / angrily)

Who are you trying to impress?  I love you!  You're GORGEOUS!  Why don't you believe me?  I don't give a SHIT what size you are.  Just live your live and be happy!

… or something along those lines.  And I heard him.

And I continue to hear him.

How much fun is it to be around someone who is always putting themselves down.  Rebecca does it all the time and it makes me so angry.  I have friends who do it and it makes me so sad.  Why can't they see what I see??  So I took a long hard look at myself - literally - bra and underwear only - over and over and over (I needed to send pictures to my nutritionist every week so for months I did so … and really LOOKED at the pictures) and slowly, I started to think that I wasn't "that bad".  I then started looking at other women and seeing that no, not everyone out there is thinner than me.  I started looking at the Additionelle models in the ads landing in my in box every week … really looking at the models.  I didn't think THEY were fat or unattractive .. and they were larger and/or curvier than I was …. and slowly I've come to a place where I don't hate my thighs.  I don't hate my fat.  I don't hate the way I look.  And I'm happy.  I've stopped competing with my younger, thinner self.  I'm not that girl anymore.  I don;t WANNA be that girl any more (she was dumb as shit *lol*).  And I'm happy.

Am I gunna weigh myself?  Nope.  Not gunna do it.

Just.

Doesn't.

Matter.

Love you girlfriend.  TTYT


Tam

Less Pressure = More Success

Hey Girlfriend,

Me again.

So it's 3:00 pm.  This morning (at 10:00 am) I didn't feel like talking - too much to do.

So I DID walk the dog … slowly and carefully.  The feet got a little tired at the end but still better than it has been.  Had some brunch (spaghettis squash and ground turkey left over from the other night), showered then ….. then what?  Exactly what was it I *needed* to do today?

I have a stamping class tonight .. but didn't feel like setting up yet so I figured I'd put together a veg tray.  My fridge is overflowing with yummy veg and it occurred to me I only have 1 week to eat it all before we go away.  I have a great snack now ready for tonight.

Once I got into cleaning the veg I realized just how much I still had and, as I was munching on carrots and sugar snap peas as I prepped them, how yummy veg is.  What was it I need to do today?  I really couldn't come up with anything pressing.  I just THOUGHT I had a lot to do.  Really, at the end of the day, nothing (except setting up for tonight) HAD to be done … so I decided to go through the fridge, grab all the veg I had and prep it for dinner.

Yellow zucchini, orange pepper, garden beets, market potatoes, broccoli, purple cabbage.  Everyone into the pool!  I ended up with two HUGE ziploc bags.  Drizzled each with some avocado oil, some Sweet Basil (Pampered Chef) seasoning, coarse sea salt and slammed those bad boys into the oven to roast.  I also trimmed some garden yellow beans Craig grew me.  Can't wait for dinner!!

Craig had a big lunch (and his system doesn't handle vegetables very well!) so he won't be partaking in all the yumminess that will be dinner.  The kids are having leftover spaghetti so this is alllllll for me!  *lol*  I obviously won't eat it all (or my colon might explode!) but I am set up for healthy eating for the next few days!  If I get sick of it the leftovers will make amazing vegetable soup.  THAT the girls will eat - they love my vegetable soup!

Soooooo - today I seem to have learned that SOMETIMES, if I take the pressure off myself to get things done … or to eat "x" today … I exceed my own expectations and do things because I WANT to … not because I feel I have to.

Again … I'm a complicated woman *lol*

Hope you're having a fun day!  TTYT


Tam

Short and Sweet

Hey Girlfriend,

Getting a super late start today.  Didn't get up until 9:30 am!!  Not as great as it sounds - didn't get to sleep until after midnight and my sleeping partner was snoring and kept from sleeping most of the night so ….

Quick update - my foot feels MUCH better after going to the chiropractor yesterday!  I was a little cranky that it was much WORSE last night … and I was stuck in bed, unable to walk, all evening but this morning it feels much much better so fingers crossed I'm on the mend!

Got lots going on today so just gunna say …

Just for Today I choose to ..

• do my best and stay positive

Need a bit of a mental break from the planning and logging and blogging so going to keep it short and simple.

Friends are coming over to stamp tonight so I might indulge in a glass of wine.  We'll see.  No pressure, just good choices with moderation.  Lots of veg today (as I realize we are leaving on holidays in a week and my fridge is full of healthy yumminess that I refuse to throw away.  I see vegetable soup in our future!

So I'm off - think I'll attempt a much shorter than usual walk with Koda - don't want to undo the good of yesterday!

Love you Girlfriend - we'll talk more soon xoxo

Tam

I'm on the right track!

Hey Girlfriend!

Ya.  So yesterday was … shall we say … not quite the success I expected it to be.  I suppose, looking back, I should have realized my mood and my motivation level when I set my goals.  Heck, even the title "Whole Lotta Nuthin" could have been a clue lol!

Let's review what I had planned "Just for Yesterday" ...

• keep drinking that water.  2.5 litres minimum (it does seem to help my feet to lee the fascia hydrated!)
• eat a banana (potassium helps my body absorb the water)
• Prep the fruit and veg I bought yesterday
• resist that pie one more day - it will be gone by tomorrow!
• research a heathy stew dish for dinner (using my fancy new "Instant Pot"
• do the Butt and Thigh pilates DVD again AND the Abs DVD

I think that's enough for today.  gotta make sure the goals are achievable!

Hmmm.

Water - think I managed 1.5 litres
Banana - blech.  Didn't happen
Prep fruit and veg.  Oh YAY!  I prepped the fruit … Boo - not the veg
Resist the pie.  Ya - well … umm …. lol.  In my defense it was just a TEENY piece! (probably because I was full from the little bowl of ice cream with chocolate chips and maple syrup on top …. !!!!)
Research stew for dinner.  YAY!  Did that!  … then made perigees for dinner (bahahahaha!  I'm cracking myself up with my "epic fails"!)
do TWO workout DVD's.  Well … I walked BY them, does that count??

So!  Did I go to bed feeling I had moved closer towards my goals?  Actually I did!  No, the day didn't play out the way I had expected it to.  But my goals aren't "achieve 100% of what you set out to do every day or the next 365 days thereby losing 50 pounds and being happy".  My goals are to stretch myself MOST days to take myself out of my comfort zone, try new things, live a PRIMARILY healthy lifestyle (like 80% of the time), loving the body and the life I have, appreciating the people in my life and being grateful.  Achieving THESE goals will make me happy.

So no, didn't hit the mark yesterday "officially" but so what.  Did I dwell?  Did I beat myself up?  Do I plan to eat my way through the pantry to make myself feel better (???!!!!).  No.  I recognized something was going on with me yesterday.  Maybe just fatigue (not sleeping well this week), maybe my body just craved salt … or fat … or pie crust (lol).  Maybe it's hormones.  Maybe it was just some comfort eating as I was grumpy as all fuck having to wear socks and runners all day.  Maybe I just didn't want to have an "rules".  Maybe (and I think it's this one most) I was just bored.  I didn't really want to organize the bonus room or do the other 3 or 4 things I "should" do.  My mind seems to go to the logic of "oh, I'll do that after I eat lunch" so I eat lunch … for, like, 3 hours lol.  Seriously.  I'm a complicated woman!

So …. lets put those big girl panties on snug and tight, stick the boobs out and start fresh again today!

Now … just another bit of a ramble, as I came across another great inspirational clip from the Facebook Page "The Law of Attraction".  (I WISH I could find a way to insert the videos here but it won't let me share them from FB to Blogger and there isn't a ULR link …)

Uncle Google says ….

The law of attraction is the name given to the maxim "like attracts like" which in New Thought philosophy is used to sum up the idea that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.

I love this … and I believe it.  I also believe it is starting to happen to me, and the universe is showing me that I'm on the right track.  I've had a few signs.  One has to do with numbers.  I've always felt numbers and number sequence/re-occurence may be a sign of something.  A few weeks ago I posted that I had driven to 3 difference dentist appointments in one day and my kilometres driven were 177.7 km.

A friend of mine sent me a message with an excerpts from a book by Doreen Virtue on "angel numbers".  According to Doreen …

"The angels applaud you, congratulations, you're on a roll!  Keep up the good work and know your wish is coming true.  This is an extremely positive sign and means you should also expect more miracles to come."

Well!  Who doesn't like to hear THAT???

Other positive signs … I was accepted into the Business Development Program with Stampin' Up!  I have been assigned a business coach who will work with me for the next 6 months to help me achieve my business goals.  Yay!

Another strong sign is that I have recently acquired two new recruits in my business.  I have never met either lady - they came to me via Pinterest … and then my blog.  This is a HUGE sign for me.  I've been blogging and Pinning for years but nothing tangible has come from it …until now … and I couldn't be happier!

So yes - I stumbled a little yesterday.  All good.  In the grand scheme of 365 one little blip won't matter a hill of beans.  It's the REACTION to the blip that matters.  I'm not going to spend another moment thinking about it.  It's done.  Over.  Irrelevant.  I will learn from it.  I will recognize and acknowledge my moods and work WITH them.

Today I'm feeling a little more "normal".  I also have a very busy afternoon.  That's good.  I have a solid plan in place.  Today, I think, I need very specific goals, and limited.  So ….

Just for Today I Choose to …

• drink 2.5 litres of water (yes, I have to write this one down or it seems to be the first thing to fly off my radar!)
• have a protein shake for breakfast
• have my chickpea salad for lunch
• have salad and grilled chicken breast for dinner
• if I am HUNGRY I will have a snack of cottage cheese
• if I am MUNCHY I will have an apple
• if I find myself standing in front of the fridge or pantry trolling for food I will STOP and make a cup of tea (this is my favourite "trick" lately.  Tea.  It takes time to make and drink and often I'm just bored so the 10 minute tea break is enough to distract me from food, give me the break I seem to want/need and then I'm more motivated to get on with whatever I'm avoiding!

That's all.  Specific, measurable goals.  I'm taking the Littles bowling today while I go to the chiropractor … then home for dinner THEN … ready for this?  I'm going to YOGA with my buddy Wanda.  Hee hee.  Talk about going outside my comfort zone!  Tried yoga a few times.  It was ok … but I really was like a chicken trying to put on pants.  NOT very graceful I must say lol.  But I'm going … and will have a good giggle with a good friend … and it will keep me moving forward.

Yay me!

OK - once again my morning ramble has be behind so off I go to nail the day :)

Thanks for listing.  Love you Girlfriend!

Tam

Whole Lotta Nuthin

Hey Girlfriend!

Hmmmmm - been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to thin of something to say.  I got nuthin!  Now THAT'S a first! *lol*.  Figured I'd just start typing and see what happens so don't expect anything TOO deep today!

Yesterday was a RAGING success in my books!  I got the 2.5 litres down (would have been more but had to sit it down early so my bladder could make it through the night!).  I was really happy with the 2.5 litres given that I was out most of the day running errands and getting groceries so making sure I stuck to my goal was key to my success (that and knowing where the nearest public washroom was at all times!)

Nailed the eating too.  I stuck to my goals - no leftovers, no pie and lots of veg.  I had a late breakfast of eggs then grabbed a banana (belch) and a protein bar for the road.  I was thrilled that I really wasn't hungry until about 4:00, when I got home.  Wanted a snack.  Had 3 little market cucumbers.  D-LISH!!

I made traditional spaghetti - with ground beef sauce.  I seem to have a spaghetti squash addiction this week so I cooked myself one of those to have instead of noodles.  Although I drained the ground beef, the high-quality sauce I use does have quite a bit of oil in it and I decided I wanted something lighter.  Grabbed a pack of the ground turkey I had just bought and fried that up, adding a touch of oil so it didn't burn.

Fried up an orange pepper and some red onion, added some Sweet Basil spice (Pampered Chef) and it was totally delicious.  JUST what I was craving and SO healthy!  … not to mention how MUCH I got to eat (I AM a quantity kinda gal!)

I gave Alicia (my 10 year old) a bite (she's my "try-inator") and got the raised eyebrows which in tween language means "Hmmmm - doesn't suck!"  I doubt she would eat mrs than a few bites but it's a start!

It was a non-stop day and my feet where absolutely throbbing with pain.  I headed upstairs to do a bit of paperwork and realized I hadn't done my pilates video.  Down I went, at 8:00 pm, and crushed it!  It actually felt GREAT (painful, but great!)  This foot business has me limping and walking in whatever way I can to get from point A to point B and, in the process, it's throwing out my knee, back, shoulder and HIPS.  They are SO tight!  So to get on the floor and stretch those muscles in a healthy way not only felt good physically it boosted m mood mentally.  Look at ME taking care of my body!  *insert pat on the back here*

I made a chiro appointment for tomorrow … and a massage appointment for Aug 24th (soonest I can get in!!)  The receptionist seems to thing my chiropractor can help with my feet.  Not sure how, as it's muscle / fascia related but I'll give it a shot at this point!

So that was my yesterday.  Today … hmmm … not much going on today.  The girls' friends are coming over this afternoon; have some work to do and bills to pay …. what can I commit to that keeps me moving forward today??

Well … Just for Today I Choose to …

• keep drinking that water.  2.5 litres minimum (it does seem to help my feet to lee the fascia hydrated!)
• eat a banana (potassium helps my body absorb the water)
• Prep the fruit and veg I bought yesterday
• resist that pie one more day - it will be gone by tomorrow!
• research a heathy stew dish for dinner (using my fancy new "Instant Pot"
• do the Butt and Thigh pilates DVD again AND the Abs DVD

I think that's enough for today.  gotta make sure the goals are achievable!

So ya - nothing to deep or earth shattering today - just random rambling that helps me keep my focus on moving forward and setting the day up for success.  Thanks for listening.  Let's do it again tomorrow :)

Love you Girlfriend xo

Tam