Sorry I haven't posted in so long - no TIME! Between my Open House Friday night, Rebecca being home throwing up Monday, Alicia home sick as a dog Friday and "life" in between it was hectic, to say the least.
This week is stupid-crazy busy. Today is my only day to have a full day of uninterrupted productivity for the next 2 1/2 weeks. Seriously non-stop, back-to-back "stuff". Meet the Teacher, Dog Grooming, Doctor Appointments, Classes, Stamp-a-Stack, Anniversary Dinner … and on and on and on … Not gunna lie - taking care of myself will (and has) taken a series backseat this month! It's not all bad - being so busy means I don't have time to stand in front of the fridge trolling for food I don't need .. and no time for mindless munching whilst watching TV. If I'm not moving I'm sleeping - so that's good. The down side is not as much time to prep healthy options … BUT I DO have lots of cut up veg from Friday night so I'm good for a few days.
I weighed myself this morning. I was curious. The weekend was a bit of a shit show for eating - Open House snacks … and wine … chinese take-away Saturday, weekend breakfasts … I didn't watch my portions .. so I wanted to see how I did. The good news is I'm still under 200. Just barely. 199.8 *lol* Although I'm pretty ok mentally with my size these days (remember I'm at my heaviest in my life) I did see a picture of myself from Saturday and I've gotta be honest. I don't like it.
I'm not down on myself, I'm not depressed - none of the usual self-hate thoughts I use to have. I've embraced my curves and am feeling more confident than ever … but I just didn't like what I saw because it just doesn't feel right for me to be this size. I've been about 160 for the last few years. THAT'S my "natural" size, I think. This just doesn't feel right to me so it's time to shed the extra. The question is how. I'm grappling with that this week. I think I've nailed the "how to maintain" over the last few months … I need to switch to "lose" mode but without getting all stupid and unhealthy about it.
I can't afford to spend any mental power on it too much for the next few weeks so I'll keep doing what I'm doing but I AM toying with a few programs to help me along. Yes, it involves money … and I HAVE tried to stay away from just throwing money at my problem/issues. I'm not jumping into anything yet … but I'm starting some research. I need to be patient with results … but I have to KNOW that whatever I'm doing will definitely result in losing about 2 pounds a week. If I don't KNOW that I seem to fall apart and yo-yo. So watch this space …
Just for today I choose to …
- get back to my 2.5 litres of water a day (haven't done that over the weekend and I AM thirsty!)
- have a protein shake for breakfast and my soup for lunch - veg for snacks
- keep my thoughts positive - not gunna freak out and jump into any crazy programs on a knee-jerk reaction
- look at my ass in the mirror and remember that Craig loves my curves :)
Gotta run - LOTS to accomplish today.
Have a great week Girlfriend! xoxo
Tam
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