50 in 50

Hello!

Welcome to my blog!

I've been toying with starting this for about two weeks now.  Yes - for two weeks it's been on my radar that in 50 weeks I will be 50 years old.

50 in 50.

Every day, for those two weeks, whilst walking Koda (my fluffy Golden Doodle "baby") it just kept playing in my head.  50 in 50.  50 in 50.  50 in 50.

Every day, for those two weeks, whilst walking Koda I also thought about how I NEED to lose about 50 pounds.

Hmmmm.  50 pounds … 50 weeks … 50 years old.

It just seemed obvious to this "always on a diet", "always with a goal", "always trying SOMETHING" gal that I should start a new challenge … to try to lose 50 in 50 BY 50.

That was the thought for two weeks straight.

The big question was HOW?

How.

How.

How.

Every day on our walk I would bash different ideas around.  LOTS of ideas.

• I'll go back on Jenny Craig
• I'll look into liposuction!
• I'll exercise and eat right
• I'll join the new Orangetheory gym that is opening in my area soon
• I'll follow the diet plan my nutritionist made for me
• I'll just eat 1,200 calories, tracking it on My Fitness Pal
• I'll have a shake for breakfast, a salad for lunch and a sensible dinner
• … and on and on and on ...

I'd come home from my walk.  I'd look into things.  I'd research.  I'd think.  I'd ponder.  I'd analyze … and after about half an hour of doing so … ever day … I'd bitch slap myself and tell myself to "GET A GRIP"!

I've DONE all those things (well, not the lipo but everything else).  I've done them all and here I am.  50 weeks away from 50 years old.  I've never been this heavy.  I've never felt this horrible.  I've never been this achy!  So in the words of Dr. Phil "How's THAT working for ya?"

Now.  Let's get something straight.  I don't want to lose weight for any reason other than I want to feel better!  Although I have never been this heavy (I weighed myself a few weeks ago and I was 193.4) I have also never been so "ok" with it.  I'm actually quite comfortable in my own skin, as they say - at least mentally.  I'm NOT comfortable in my own skin literally speaking.   I'm quite UNCOMFORTABLE.   My bra is too tight .. and I can feel a serious roll of fat between my belly button and my boobs when I sit down … and I'm always uncomfortably full … so no, I'm not PHYSICALLY comfortable in my own skin.

So!  I want to lose weight to be healthy.  In the two weeks that I have been 49 my body seems to have fallen apart.  Is that because of the excess weight?  Maybe.  Dunno.  Don't care.  Just don't want to feel so "old" at 49!

Again - the question is … HOW?

My "pattern" for years has been start some sort of diet and exercise like crazy.  Ya.  SO done with that. Being an "all or nothing" kind of gal I DO exercise - but I do too much, too hard and I get hurt - and then I have to stop exercising.  WELL!  If I can't exercise what's the point of eating well, right???  All or nothing.  I'm either all in or all out.  I'm either actively losing weight or actively gaining it.

I'm VERY self aware.

I know myself very, VERY well.

I know I love carbs.  I know I hate drinking water.  I know I hate exercise that makes me sweat.  I know if I don't have what I deem a "healthy" breakfast I will not eat healthy all day.  I know my "danger time" for eating is between 3:00 and 5:00 pm.   I know I eat more when Craig is home.  I know I can't be trusted with an open bag of candy in the house.  I know I know a LOT about calories, how our bodies work and process food.  I also know I love food - ALL food - healthy, unhealthy, spicy, salty - ALL FOOD!

I know that I always have great intentions.  I know those great intentions always lead to grand gestures,  BIG goals and massive commitments.  I know diets don't work.  I know I always need to have a plan - I can't just eat "like a normal person".  I also know that I need to be accountable.

So - after many, many, MANY hours of contemplation over what to do I came up with a plan.

What's different this time?  It's almost completely different than how I've done things before.  No big gestures.  No grand statements.  No massive goals.  No unrealistic time lines.  No stupidity.  No beating myself up.  No dieting.

THIS time I have a BIG picture goal.  Healthier in 50 weeks.  Ideally 50 pounds in 50 weeks.  Ideally my Size 8 jeans in 50 weeks.

Of course I need a plan to get there and a way of measuring success … and tweaking things along the way.

So I start with the big time line.  50 weeks.  I break that down into more manageable pieces.  Fifty single weeks.  Then I break each week down further … into daily pieces.

And here we are.

This blog is for other "almost-50s, commit-a-phones and/or diet-a-holics."  Let's UNITE!  Join me as, every day, I commit …. to little itty bitty changes.  To doing what we KNOW we should do … but usually only manage to do for a few hours … or a few days before throwing in the towel.

I will post every day what I am committing to "JUST FOR TODAY".  Just today!  One measly little 24 hour period.  I can do that, right?  Of COURSE I can!  Everyday I will commit to SOMETHING that will inch me a little closer to my goal.  

No more "Why eat healthy today when I'm going out for lunch on Wednesday?".  I can eat healthy "just for today"

No more "I'll never eat another french fry again!".  I can eat no french fries "just for today".  OR I can EAT french fries "just for today"!

No more "I'm going to lose 20 pounds this month".  I can forget about what I weigh "just for today"

The only time limit I will focus heavily on is 24 hours.  Yes, I'll have a 7 day deadline in the background - and the larger, 50 week deadline on the horizon - but the 24 hours will be my main commitment.

So!  JUST FOR TODAY I …. committed to drinking 2 litres of water (already done!) and eating only 1,200 calories.  JUST FOR TODAY!

I hope you follow along with me day by day.  I hope to share some real life pics, revelations, setbacks and successes.  50 weeks from now I WILL be healthier :)

Let's have some every-day pics to start things off, shall we?

This is me in my everyday "uniform".  Shorts (that are feeling tight!), standard black tank top and dangling necklace ...

 Side view - embracing my curves (but wouldn't be sad to see them a little less curvy!)

 Nope - not a stitch of makeup and hair in an "I couldn't be bothered to brush my hair" clip ...

 … and one just for fun.

This is me folks.  Lets get real … even if "Just for Today".



Tam