Geez - I seem to be getting the hang of this sleeping in thing! Almost 9:00 am before I rolled out of bed. No. Literally. I have to get momentum up and I ROLL off the side of the bed. Picture it. Kinda funny, I'm sure. Well, Craig laughs, anyway. I'm sure from his angle it's hilarious, bare ass, cellulite and all *lol*.
So yesterday we didn't end up going to a movie. We're going to go, with Rebecca, today. Yesterday we just putzed round the house. I went from one thing to another, as I always do … and Craig now calls me "his little Dory" as I ted to forget what I started off doing before moving on lol.
I was really proud of myself for eating during the day. I started off with yoghurt, blueberries and hemp hearts. I got busy purging my office area and was hungry but put off eating. That's always dangerous for me. If I get hungry I tend to grab the first thing I see … and it's usually crap. I seem to have some bizarre thought process whereby if I have the slightest pang of hunger I get to et my body weight in chocolate chips!
Repeat after me: It's ok to be hungry. It's ok to be hungry. It's ok to be hungry!
I finally wandered downstairs around 1:00 pm in search of food. I had nothing prepared. Fuck. I heard the chocolate and cherry granola bars in the pantry calling my name. "Be strong Tam", I said to myself. "They're not good fuel … and really, they aren't that good anyway!". And I was strong.
Bahahahah - now I'm sitting here giggling to myself … and the cat is looking at me funny ….
But I digress …
I stopped and THOUGHT what to eat. I rely didn't have anything quick on hand, other than raw cauliflower and broccoli … and mangy, wrinkle peppers. I've been TRYING to remember that every meal does NOT have to be a major food experience … sometimes you just need to "fill the hole". It was 1:00. Yes, I was hungry, but if I ate too much I wouldn't be hungry for dinner (if we decided to go out). Normally that wouldn't stop me - I eat dinner whether I'm hungry or not. Trying to change that pattern.
I walked to the closet, got out my favourite appliance, my Opti-Grill, grabbed two of the mangy peppers and grilled them. While I was waiting for them to grill I had two fresh garden cucumbers. It was fucking delicious. Seriously. I was SO proud of myself for a) not grabbing the quickest crap on hand b) using two (of the 4) mangy peppers before they get to the "garbage" stage and c) LOVING the FUEL I put in m body. It was awesome … and I smiled (lol - giggling again).
Now - fast forward to 5:00. I wasn't originally sure I wanted to but as I started to get hungry again (let's face it, with no protein two peppers and two cucumbers don't rely stick to the ribs for long!) I gave myself permission and off we went. We went to my favourite restaurant, Halong Bay for Vietnamese food. I always have their Beef Satay Soup. It's sooooooooo freaking good! Craig and I both WANTED a spring or salad roll but we both decided against it as we are always uncomfortable full after eating … so we resisted.
I SO enjoyed my soup. About half way through the MASSIVE bowl Craig saw I had mainly broth left and suggested I take it home so I could enjoy it again today, with a little chicken and noodles added to it. I said "I SHOULD, but it's just so good … and Im not stuffed … and it's only broth" and I ate the whole damned thing.
Mistake. BIG mistake.
We left the restaurant at 6:00 pm. I was now officially full. Somehow I kept getting fuller as the night went on. I was SOOOO uncomfortable! I had done it again. I TOTALLY overate. Sigh. It was 10:47 pm (no kidding!) before I stopped being ridiculously full. Seriously. Craig had offered me a cheezie while we were watching TV. Rarely one to turn down ANY kind of food I had to decline. I seriously was that full.
So! Lesson learned. He TRIED to help me. Next time I will listen and I will go there KNOWING I'm only going to eat half.
Am I beating myself up? Absolutely not! i had given myself permission to et whatever I wanted and I did so. Yes, I ate too much. So what. I actually was probably still at about 1,800 calories for the day, which is completely reasonable. You know the best part? I have a plan for next time AND today is a totally new day - totally clean slate! Whether we do "well" or not, every morning we get a "do over"! Even if I had eaten four entire cheesecakes and a pint of ice-cream yesterday - today is a new day. Start again. Don't waste a MINUTE worrying about yesterday or how it may or mayn't sabotage our goals. It's over, it's done, we start again.
Clean Slate.
Love it!
Today we will be going to the movies … so …
Just for Today I Choose to …
- buy a coffee instead of having popcorn (yes, I love the popcorn but I tend to eat the entire bag … 'cause, you know, paid $10 for it so have to eat every kernel! … and I ALWAYS feel gross from all the grease afterwards anyway!)
- try to stick to about 1,300 calories for the day
That's the plan - nothing to grandiose - little steps but ones that will get me a wee bit closer to the goal.
I'm off to limp the dog now. TTYS. Love you Girlfriend!
Tam
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