Heidi Ho Girlfriend!
Did you think I left the country without a forwarding address? Ya, sorry 'bout that! Been THINKING about posting for AGES but just never got around to it. I seem to have a cap on how much I can do in a week … and posting always hit the bottom of the pile. If you've been following my stamping life you know I've been REALLY working my business and trying to build my team. It has been paying off and the ladies on my team are on FIRE … which just motivates and inspires me more …
I wanted to post about a month ago just to touch base with my latest "project". When Ash Wednesday hit I decided I needed a new challenge. What did I give up for Lent? Meat! yup - thought I'd give going vegetarian a shot. Why not? Gotta mix it up and try new things, right? It really wasn't as tough as I thought it would be. I was excited about the possibility of shifting a few pounds and eating even more clean than I had been. The really funny thing about it was the reaction of my family (and my mother). They all rolled their eyes with the "oh boy - here we go again" look … and pointed out that I'm not even Catholic so what the heck? hee hee. Just part of my crazy!
So I did pretty well … I guess … we'll just fast forward a month and say ya, I'm back on meat hee hee. Craig was thrilled when he was barbecuing on Saturday and I announced, "ya, I'll have a hamburger too". He greeted me with "Yay! Welcome back! We missed you!". *lol*. I DID go meat free Monday to Saturday every week, having some Chicken on Sundays … and then a burger last week. Having said that I still want to be "mainly veg" (Craig asked if that's like being a little bit pregnant) … I want to eat less meat. I realize, in hindsight, that I eat WAY too much meat, justifying it by saying it's protein. Ya … but how many calories are in the sauce … or the skin … or the fat …
I love legumes and fresh o roasted veg. It really is primarily the inconvenience of prepping all MY food and then cooking separate meals for "them" and "me". Oh sure, the kids will eat SOME clean stuff but they aren't into the beans, tofu, hemp hearts etc and other healthy proteins that would keep them growing and healthy.
So - experiment over on the 100% vegetarian gig … did I lose weight. No. I know I did eat more calories than before, with more avocados, nuts etc … and I *may* have accidentally eaten a Costco sized bag of Jelly Belly jelly beans .. and maybe some Eggies easter eggs … but I digress …
I looked at the calendar and see I am now only 14 weeks away from my 50th birthday … and I'm really no closer to my goal that I set 40 weeks ago. By now I had planned to be down a good 30 pounds! Am I disappointed. Well - yes and no. I really do think I've come a very long way this year. I've let go of the guilt. If I want to eat a bag of jelly beans I will. I recognize, for whatever reason, I want it … or need it, so I have it … and then I move on. Do I understand it? Sometimes. Do I like it? No. But do I waste a minute beating myself up of it? No. I don't. I seriously don't. It is what it is. I'm 49 years old. I realize I've been fighting myself and being down on myself hard-core for 15 years … and about 10 years of light beating myself up before that. I'm tired. I've realized life is SO short. I won't spend any more time with my weight/shape/size as my main "project" any more. I don't like looking back on the last 10 years and wondering if I was happy during that time. It just doesn't matter. I'm done with the guilt.
Will I keep trying to do better? Absolutely! I have learned if I take my eye off the ball I just swing the other way hard and fast.
I know my limitations. If I want to eat clean and healthy I can't have the crap around. Plain and simple. Just like an alcoholic can't have a bottle around I can't have Girl Guide cookies in the house. No big deal! Who needs that shit anyway???
SO what's the plan moving forward?
Right now I'm just watching what I put in my mouth. I try to have a shake for breakfast, a healthy lunch and lots of veg with dinner. This week is hard. The kids are on spring break. I struggle with "treats" when they are home. That's ok. It's just one week. If I gain a pound this week it will come off next week.
Spring is here. I realize I'm walking faster on my walks and look forward to moving my body. My feet problems are still there but stretching helps and it doesn't keep me from doing things (I just suffer a bit afterwards!). As happens every Spring the girls and I are looking forward to biking … and I plan to get a new one that is more upright so my back and neck can handle it better.
It's all about those little changes. Moving more, eating less meat, enjoying clean food. I'm getting there.
Will I be at 140 pounds in 14 weeks. Nope. Am I ok with that. Yup. It's all good.
I'm off to have a mandarin - yummy new bag from Costco - then my morning walk.
Hope you're well Girlfriend - TTYS xo
Tam
