Morning Girlfriend!
I know, I know - haven't been posting. Just. So. Busy! I haven't forgotten about you … or my goals but I have to say, I have been a total shit show for the last few weeks. The only thing I've managed to stick to is taking my vitamins (most days, anyway). Water - mmmm - maybe a litre a day. Exercise - my standard half hour walk with Doodles. Eating …. well …. let's just say Craig mara a carrot cake and I haven't measured/weighed anything in weeks.
That's ok.
I made those choices.
I'm not weak. I'm still a good person. My family still loves me. My jeans still fit, Nothing in my life has changed.
Having said that I'm DONE with feeling the way I do. I'm comfortable MENTALLY with my shape/size but I'm telling you my joints, energy, skin … they are all in the tank! My body simply can't take this weight. So. I've spent a lot of time over the last 2 weeks figuring out what to do and how to do it. See, the problem is, I'm not "disgusted" with the way I look … so I haven't been as dedicated to the healthy eating/exercise gig. But I NEED to be … so then the same old panic-mode kicks in. How do I lose the weight FAST so I feel better in two days.
Ugh.
There's the problem. The "fast" part. So. My thinking has taken longer than usual. In the past I would just jump into any sort of diet plan believing I couldn't do it any other way. I now acknowledge I CAN, I just was choosing not to. Like 50% of the women out there I was looking for the quick fix - the magic pill - the easy way out. We all know there isn't one.
Let's zoom ahead a bit (cause I seriously have SO much to do before heading to camp with Alicia tomorrow - for 3 days!).
I want to lose weight; I want to do it in a healthy way; I don't want to diet; I'm not patient.
I decided it was "ok" to be on a "plan" … but not a Jenny Craig or Ideal Protein or Atkins Diet. It's ok to be on a supplement plan that is NOT a diet but WILL result in weight loss … and if I stick to it the weight WILL come off and in a more regulated, safe time line.
I bought the 30 day plan for Isagenix. Now only the people reading this blog plus one dear friend know I'm going on this plan. Why? Not because I'm embarrassed but because I don't want it to be a big deal! I don't want anyone to think, or see, that anything drastic will change. I don't want my daughters to think I'm dieting. I don't want the pressure of "oh! how much have you lost already". I don't want ANY sort of diet mentality. I simply can't handle it. Yes, this system does have a "60 day challenge" associated with it … if I want it. I don't. I've told my "dealer" that yes, she/I can weigh and measure me on day one but I want nothing to do with scales or measurements for a very long while. No X-day challenges. NO timelines. I want to just quietly get healthier.
The gist of the plan is a 1 day cleanse per week. A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a sensible dinner - with supplements. I think the calorie intake goal is around 1,200 a day. Whatever - 1,200 - 1,500. All good.
I chose this plan because it really won't be drastically different than what I do now (minus the carrot cake!) I currently HAVE a shake for breakfast and (generally) soup for lunch. A shake for lunch isn;t a big change. A sensible dinner will be close to what I have now too - I'll just watch my portions a little closer … and I'll feed the family in a healthier way as well. Craig has been feeling the aches and pains of being another year older and recently asked if he was getting fat! The girls still have too much processed food/grains and although they get lots of fruit I need to step up their vegetable game a bit. So this plan will be good for everyone (of course they won't "see" that I'm on shakes as well) and I'll feel like I have support of the family by everyone eating the same, healthy meals.
I plan to start Monday(ish). I'm at camp until Friday, have a stamping get together Saturday morning so hope to pick up my products on the weekend.
That's the plan.
Just for today I choose to eat like a "healthy" woman does. First step - always the hardest.
I'll be AWOL again until next week but will check in once I start the plan to let you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for sticking with me, Girlfriend! Love you!
Tam
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Monday, September 12, 2016
I Don't Like It!
Hey Girlfriend!
Sorry I haven't posted in so long - no TIME! Between my Open House Friday night, Rebecca being home throwing up Monday, Alicia home sick as a dog Friday and "life" in between it was hectic, to say the least.
This week is stupid-crazy busy. Today is my only day to have a full day of uninterrupted productivity for the next 2 1/2 weeks. Seriously non-stop, back-to-back "stuff". Meet the Teacher, Dog Grooming, Doctor Appointments, Classes, Stamp-a-Stack, Anniversary Dinner … and on and on and on … Not gunna lie - taking care of myself will (and has) taken a series backseat this month! It's not all bad - being so busy means I don't have time to stand in front of the fridge trolling for food I don't need .. and no time for mindless munching whilst watching TV. If I'm not moving I'm sleeping - so that's good. The down side is not as much time to prep healthy options … BUT I DO have lots of cut up veg from Friday night so I'm good for a few days.
I weighed myself this morning. I was curious. The weekend was a bit of a shit show for eating - Open House snacks … and wine … chinese take-away Saturday, weekend breakfasts … I didn't watch my portions .. so I wanted to see how I did. The good news is I'm still under 200. Just barely. 199.8 *lol* Although I'm pretty ok mentally with my size these days (remember I'm at my heaviest in my life) I did see a picture of myself from Saturday and I've gotta be honest. I don't like it.
I'm not down on myself, I'm not depressed - none of the usual self-hate thoughts I use to have. I've embraced my curves and am feeling more confident than ever … but I just didn't like what I saw because it just doesn't feel right for me to be this size. I've been about 160 for the last few years. THAT'S my "natural" size, I think. This just doesn't feel right to me so it's time to shed the extra. The question is how. I'm grappling with that this week. I think I've nailed the "how to maintain" over the last few months … I need to switch to "lose" mode but without getting all stupid and unhealthy about it.
I can't afford to spend any mental power on it too much for the next few weeks so I'll keep doing what I'm doing but I AM toying with a few programs to help me along. Yes, it involves money … and I HAVE tried to stay away from just throwing money at my problem/issues. I'm not jumping into anything yet … but I'm starting some research. I need to be patient with results … but I have to KNOW that whatever I'm doing will definitely result in losing about 2 pounds a week. If I don't KNOW that I seem to fall apart and yo-yo. So watch this space …
Just for today I choose to …
Sorry I haven't posted in so long - no TIME! Between my Open House Friday night, Rebecca being home throwing up Monday, Alicia home sick as a dog Friday and "life" in between it was hectic, to say the least.
This week is stupid-crazy busy. Today is my only day to have a full day of uninterrupted productivity for the next 2 1/2 weeks. Seriously non-stop, back-to-back "stuff". Meet the Teacher, Dog Grooming, Doctor Appointments, Classes, Stamp-a-Stack, Anniversary Dinner … and on and on and on … Not gunna lie - taking care of myself will (and has) taken a series backseat this month! It's not all bad - being so busy means I don't have time to stand in front of the fridge trolling for food I don't need .. and no time for mindless munching whilst watching TV. If I'm not moving I'm sleeping - so that's good. The down side is not as much time to prep healthy options … BUT I DO have lots of cut up veg from Friday night so I'm good for a few days.
I weighed myself this morning. I was curious. The weekend was a bit of a shit show for eating - Open House snacks … and wine … chinese take-away Saturday, weekend breakfasts … I didn't watch my portions .. so I wanted to see how I did. The good news is I'm still under 200. Just barely. 199.8 *lol* Although I'm pretty ok mentally with my size these days (remember I'm at my heaviest in my life) I did see a picture of myself from Saturday and I've gotta be honest. I don't like it.
I'm not down on myself, I'm not depressed - none of the usual self-hate thoughts I use to have. I've embraced my curves and am feeling more confident than ever … but I just didn't like what I saw because it just doesn't feel right for me to be this size. I've been about 160 for the last few years. THAT'S my "natural" size, I think. This just doesn't feel right to me so it's time to shed the extra. The question is how. I'm grappling with that this week. I think I've nailed the "how to maintain" over the last few months … I need to switch to "lose" mode but without getting all stupid and unhealthy about it.
I can't afford to spend any mental power on it too much for the next few weeks so I'll keep doing what I'm doing but I AM toying with a few programs to help me along. Yes, it involves money … and I HAVE tried to stay away from just throwing money at my problem/issues. I'm not jumping into anything yet … but I'm starting some research. I need to be patient with results … but I have to KNOW that whatever I'm doing will definitely result in losing about 2 pounds a week. If I don't KNOW that I seem to fall apart and yo-yo. So watch this space …
Just for today I choose to …
- get back to my 2.5 litres of water a day (haven't done that over the weekend and I AM thirsty!)
- have a protein shake for breakfast and my soup for lunch - veg for snacks
- keep my thoughts positive - not gunna freak out and jump into any crazy programs on a knee-jerk reaction
- look at my ass in the mirror and remember that Craig loves my curves :)
Gotta run - LOTS to accomplish today.
Have a great week Girlfriend! xoxo
Tam
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Soup is the Answer
Hey Girlfriend!
Just touching base. Love our long chats but can't afford the time right now. STUPID busy … but just the way I like it! Of course I SHOULD be prepping for my stamping Open House Friday but that's SO not how I operate. In procrastinating on THAT I'm getting so much done in other areas! Reorganizing the bonus room, drafting 4 hour emails, catching up on the girls' diaries … and now having my parents over for dinner.
Things are still going really well. Except for yesterday I got those 3 litres of water in every day. No - still haven't managed the pilates DVD's … maybe next week? No - who am I kidding … I really DO need to get on that Open House stuff soon … and it's a long weekend so the pressure is on for Tues, Wed, Thurs. All good.
I DID stumble a bit one day last week. After being all proud of myself and my restraint and focus I totally binged after dinner. Ice cream, 2 cookies, popcorn. As always I felt like crap afterwards - both physically and mentally. But! … I didn't wallow for long. Next morning I woke up and started again. Right back on track. I recognized, and was right, that Aunt Flo was due any minute. That, as always, explains the carb cravings that I just can't seem to control … and I don't. Yesterday and this morning I everything I truly craved were carbs … so I had them, guilt free. No point resisting. If I had substituted with, say, protein I would STILL be trolling through the pantry looking for something that satisfied … so I just went with it. Had some toast. Had a few crackers. Nothing too out of control, just fed the craving. Aunt Flo arrived and that's the end of THAT!
Onward and upward!
On reflection I see why I was so successful last week. I didn't have to pre-plan or think about what I was going to eat for most meals. Shake for breakfast, lots of water, borscht for lunch, lots of water, sensible dinner. Done! That borscht was the key! Filling, took me a long time to eat and healthy! So … in an effort to recreate the success I will do the same again this week. I will pre measure the water (but think I will reduce it to 2.5 litres. Three just has me going through too much toilet paper and peeing every time I sneeze! Over-share. Sorry.
I'm done with borscht - had it almost every day for two weeks … so I made up a big match of another of my favourite soups - Weight Watchers Hot and Sour. Now it's not what you get in the restaurants by ANY stretch of the imagination … but I love it! I LOVE the texture of tofu … and the mushrooms .. and it's low calorie and filling. Perfect! I go to the Lucky Supermarket and grab lots of fresh mushrooms there - they are the BEST for freshness and price. Brown mushrooms, shitake, oyster, king … and extra firm tofu. This batch I also used Mushroom broth I got at Costco a few months ago. I don't use dried mushrooms (fresh is faster and less gritty) and, after testing, I often throw in a lot more hot sauce and/or rice vinegar. Anything goes - hard to screw it up. Here's the recipe …
Super yummy!
So that's the plan for the next few days. I'm walking with a lot less pain so I may try to increase my walk by 10-15 minutes next week. That's what I chose to do … just for this week :)
Have an awesome Sunday Girlfriend! Love you :)
Tam
Just touching base. Love our long chats but can't afford the time right now. STUPID busy … but just the way I like it! Of course I SHOULD be prepping for my stamping Open House Friday but that's SO not how I operate. In procrastinating on THAT I'm getting so much done in other areas! Reorganizing the bonus room, drafting 4 hour emails, catching up on the girls' diaries … and now having my parents over for dinner.
Things are still going really well. Except for yesterday I got those 3 litres of water in every day. No - still haven't managed the pilates DVD's … maybe next week? No - who am I kidding … I really DO need to get on that Open House stuff soon … and it's a long weekend so the pressure is on for Tues, Wed, Thurs. All good.
I DID stumble a bit one day last week. After being all proud of myself and my restraint and focus I totally binged after dinner. Ice cream, 2 cookies, popcorn. As always I felt like crap afterwards - both physically and mentally. But! … I didn't wallow for long. Next morning I woke up and started again. Right back on track. I recognized, and was right, that Aunt Flo was due any minute. That, as always, explains the carb cravings that I just can't seem to control … and I don't. Yesterday and this morning I everything I truly craved were carbs … so I had them, guilt free. No point resisting. If I had substituted with, say, protein I would STILL be trolling through the pantry looking for something that satisfied … so I just went with it. Had some toast. Had a few crackers. Nothing too out of control, just fed the craving. Aunt Flo arrived and that's the end of THAT!
Onward and upward!
On reflection I see why I was so successful last week. I didn't have to pre-plan or think about what I was going to eat for most meals. Shake for breakfast, lots of water, borscht for lunch, lots of water, sensible dinner. Done! That borscht was the key! Filling, took me a long time to eat and healthy! So … in an effort to recreate the success I will do the same again this week. I will pre measure the water (but think I will reduce it to 2.5 litres. Three just has me going through too much toilet paper and peeing every time I sneeze! Over-share. Sorry.
I'm done with borscht - had it almost every day for two weeks … so I made up a big match of another of my favourite soups - Weight Watchers Hot and Sour. Now it's not what you get in the restaurants by ANY stretch of the imagination … but I love it! I LOVE the texture of tofu … and the mushrooms .. and it's low calorie and filling. Perfect! I go to the Lucky Supermarket and grab lots of fresh mushrooms there - they are the BEST for freshness and price. Brown mushrooms, shitake, oyster, king … and extra firm tofu. This batch I also used Mushroom broth I got at Costco a few months ago. I don't use dried mushrooms (fresh is faster and less gritty) and, after testing, I often throw in a lot more hot sauce and/or rice vinegar. Anything goes - hard to screw it up. Here's the recipe …
So that's the plan for the next few days. I'm walking with a lot less pain so I may try to increase my walk by 10-15 minutes next week. That's what I chose to do … just for this week :)
Have an awesome Sunday Girlfriend! Love you :)
Tam
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