Sorry I'm late! I considered making today's commitment "Just for Today I Choose not to post" … but, I picked another one instead "Just for Today I Choose to take care of myself" so, while I sit here with my fancy new K-Days massager on my calf i decided to post :)
So today I had a very dear and beautiful friend come over for coffee … I think this post I'll "talk" to her …
Hey Girlfriend!
What a great way to start my day, spending time with you! As I said I wish we had recorder our 1.5 hour chat - that would have given me at LEAST 15 posts for our friends to read!
I'm THRILLED if I have inspired you in any small way. I know some of the things I said resonated with you … and some of things YOU said resonated with ME … and some of the things I said really got me thinking … so ya, I have a lot of things yet to work through and post her. YOU have inspired ME. Women supporting and inspiring women. Does it get any better than that??
So let's recap, shall we?
I'm NOT on a journey of weight loss. I know you know that … I just want to make sure everyone reading this knows that. It goes a million layers deeper than that. It really does boil down to a journey of self-acceptance! Looking in the mirror and knowing to my CORE that I am good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, fat/thin enough, funny enough, organized enough, kind enough, smart enough. I am all of those things. I deserve those things. I am grateful for those things. THIS is what I have to know every single day, without question. I think I'm there! I have finally said "enough of this bull shit, I'm DONE!" I'm done questioning everything I do, eat, say, feel … always feeling I should be doing more … or better.
We are enough.
We are fine just the way we are.
I love you. Are you listening? I love you. Just. The Way. You Are. I love your heart. I love your laugh. I love how you glow when you are asking to me.
Self doubt. It's ridiculous. How do we get so messed up? How - WHY - do we continue to buy into the belief that we AREN'T good enough - we AREN'T strong enough, smart enough, fat/thin enough … blah blah blah. Our insecurities set in and we're screwed. It is SO much easier to believe the bad stuff than the good. But it's bull shit. According to WHOM, exactly are we not "x"-enough? It's all in our head!
We need to change the tape in our head. I think I'm there! Repeat after me: I am perfectly fine the way I am.
THIS is the tape that I've been playing the last few weeks and you know what? I can't remember being this happy in a very, VERY long time! Even Rebecca agreed this morning I have been a LOT more patient with them (and myself) lately - I'm not snipping or flying off the handle NEARLY as much as I was. I'm just happy. I've accepted that I am right where I need to be in every aspect. I have arrived! I've changed the tape.
I'm not dieting - I'm making better choices. Why? Not because I want to LOSE weight but because Im perfect the way I am and I don't want to GAIN weight. I've "stopped the bleeding". In my head I have learned to love myself as I am - this shape, this size. I believe it so much that I want to STAY this way. In order to do that I need to make healthier choices. I suppose, if I continue to make these good choices I will, in fact, lose weight, but that's not the GOAL. The GOAL is to stay as I am. TOTALLY different mindset. With this mindset there is no deadline, no guilt, no penalty, no self loathing. It's what I wanted - to be healthy and happy! I had all my blood work done and the doctor said all my numbers were fantastic! Cholesterol was particularly good. Blood pressure and all that - great! So I am healthy. Great! Done! Now all I have to do is maintain it. And I will.
I really could go on for hours but I seriously need - oops - no .. I CHOOSE to get some chores done around here (that laundry aint gunna do itself and seriously, I CHOOSE to wear underwear so laundry is at the top of my "I choose" list *lol*)
It's late in the day so my choices were already determined a few hours ago. Here they are ...
Just for Today I Choose to …
- prepare some healthy snacks to have on hand for tomorrow
- continue to make healthy choices today
- take time to take care of myself and my feet
- be grateful for the people who love me
Gratitude. It really is an amazing side effect of happiness … and one of the main feelings I have had this week.
I'm grateful for you, Girlfriend. I'm grateful our paths have crossed. I'm grateful you're in my life. I'm grateful I inspire you. I'm grateful you let me call you my friend. I love you.
Right - virtual hug … now go …. be awesome :)
Tam
PS - for those wondering about how I did at KDays … Rocked it! Drank 2 litres of water, packed snacks, bought a YUMMY donair (didn't eat the pita), had 3 french fries. No donuts. Didn't want one (or 18!)
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